More Than Credentials, How to Find a Therapist Who Fits

Finding the right therapist can be transformative for your mental health, but the process can feel overwhelming. In my post from last month, Why Finding the Right Therapist is Super Important (part 1), I discussed why matching with the right therapist is a significant part of your mental health journey.  In this article, I'll provide a few tips on how to find the right therapist.

While factors like cost, location, and credentials are important, they’re only the starting point. It's essential to take the time and effort to assess the intangibles. What does your gut tell you? How do you feel when you and the therapist are interacting?

Here's a few things to think about.

Trust Your Intuition

Sometimes, choosing a therapist comes down to a gut feeling. While intuition shouldn’t be the only factor in your decision, it’s an important piece of the puzzle when combined with other considerations.

• How do you feel after talking to them? Do you leave the session feeling hopeful, drained, or indifferent?

• Does their presence feel safe and supportive? Even if they challenge you, their demeanor should foster trust and security.

  
  

Differentiate Between Style and Personality

A therapist’s professional style and personal demeanor can sometimes be conflated. For example, a therapist's personality might make you feel a bit uneasy, but their approach may be exactly what you need.

• Serious and reserved therapists might feel less personable at first but could provide the depth and focus you’re looking for in long-term work.

• Warm and comforting therapists may excel at building trust but could lack the structure you need for goal-oriented progress.

Prioritize Emotional Chemistry

The relationship you build with your therapist is the foundation of effective therapy. After your consultation or first session, reflect on how you feel.

• Do you feel safe and understood? A good therapist should create a space where you feel comfortable being vulnerable.

• Are they responsive? Notice if they validate your feelings and take the time to understand your perspective before offering advice or insights.

• Do their challenges feel constructive? A great therapist will push you to grow, but their approach should feel empowering, not critical.

Evaluate Their Openness to Feedback

Therapy is a collaboration, and a good therapist will welcome feedback.

• Be honest about your needs. For example, say, “I’d like more practical tools,” or, “I need more time to process before answering questions.” Observe their response. Do they adapt and show flexibility, or do they seem dismissive?

• A therapist’s willingness to adjust their approach based on your input is a strong indicator of their commitment to your growth.

  
  

The right therapist will not only provide guidance but also create a space where you can do the hard work of growth. Finding the right match takes time, experimentation, and self-reflection. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. Stay patient with the process, ask questions, and advocate for what you need. The effort you put into finding a therapist who fits can lead to meaningful, lasting progress on your path to healing.