The Holiday Feel Great Paradox

The holiday season is at its peak. How are you feeling? Our culture suggests, even demands, that you feel great. Perhaps some of you do, but many people struggle with the "holiday feel great paradox" —the unspoken requirement that the holidays bring a euphoric feeling of joy and happiness. If you're feeling euphoric, you can stop reading. If you're feeling a bit stressed, read on...

So why do we feel stressed, when we're "supposed" to feel good? According to research from the American Psychological Association, perceived social and familial obligations amplify stress responses, especially when individuals feel they must fulfill idealized holiday narratives. This tension can manifest as insomnia, heightened irritability, or difficulty in maintaining emotional equilibrium.

A significant source of holiday distress lies in how easily routine disruptions and emotional triggers intertwine. Festive gatherings and travel upend meal times, exercise, and sleep patterns. Meanwhile, family events can stir nostalgia or unresolved conflicts, and financial pressures from gift-buying or hosting add another layer of stress. To counter these pressures, setting practical boundaries around time and resources—like finalizing a budget or reserving specific “downtime” hours—can be both preventive and restorative.

Mindfulness also plays a pivotal role. Short intervals for deep breathing, journaling, or solo walks can help restore emotional balance. Even “micro-moments” of self-care have proven effective in reducing accumulated stress. By allowing these brief pauses, individuals can recalibrate and engage more thoughtfully in celebrations. Acknowledging potential tension, rather than ignoring it, further dispels the myth of the flawless holiday and eases the urge to maintain an endlessly cheerful façade.

Finally, genuine connection is at the heart of this season. While large social gatherings can be overwhelming, reaching out to a trusted friend or mentor can provide grounding. Here, the quality of relationships matters more than quantity. By respecting personal limits, expressing needs openly, and truly listening, we create supportive environments that buffer holiday stress. Through a blend of boundaries, mindfulness, and authentic interaction, it’s possible to navigate the holidays without sacrificing emotional well-being.

Wishing you a mindful holiday season!