Unlock Growth and Empathy, the Power of Flexible Thinking

One of my favorite quotes, and a key factor in how I work with my clients, is:

We go through life mis-hearing, mis-seeing, and misunderstanding so that the stories we tell ourselves add up.

We all come to experiences with a unique perception that is based on past experiences, culture, values and emotions.

Our perception creates the stories we tell ourselves about what we hear, what we see, and what we understand to be true. It is both deeply personal and a powerful tool, helping us make sense of the world.

However, this very tendency to cling to a singular narrative can lead to unnecessary stress, frustration, and conflict —can can create anxiety, depression, and challenges in relationships.

Perhaps there's another way. When we allow ourselves to explore multiple interpretations of the same situation, instead of holding tight to our singular viewpoint, we allow for mental flexibility that can lead to emotional growth, and help foster empathy, resilience, and self-awareness.

Years ago, I was in my own therapy session with a much respected mentor, I was expressing my feelings about a situation that happened with a friend. Because she knows me well, and knows both the stories that support my emotional growth and the stories that tend to trip me up, she asked me a very simple question that gave me beautiful pause, "Is your perception open to a different interpretation?" I have repeated this question to myself dozens of times since then. It's a powerful question to ask yourself when you feel yourself on the verge of reacting to something or someone. By embracing the possibility that my perception isn't the only valid one, I am open up to new possibilities, and the ability to let go of the judgment I create around a situation.

Here are some simple things you can try to explore the power of flexible thinking and embrace multiple interpretations.

• Pause and Reflect

  The next time you're faced with a situation that triggers an emotional response, pause. Ask yourself: “What’s another way I could look at this? How might someone else see this?”

  
  

• Seek Diverse Opinions

  Whether in conversation or through reading, expose yourself to different viewpoints. It doesn’t mean you have to agree, but just allowing room for another interpretation can expand your understanding.

  
  

• Challenge Your Beliefs

  Pick one belief or assumption you hold strongly and question it. How did you form this belief? Are there other ways to look at it?

  
  

• Practice Empathy

  In disagreements, instead of arguing your point immediately, try to understand the other person's perspective. Imagine how their life experiences may have shaped their viewpoint. Reflect what you hear them saying and have them clarify any points you may have not understood as they meant it.

  
  

• Stay Curious

  Curiosity naturally opens our minds to new ideas and possibilities. Rather than feeling threatened by different interpretations, approach them with a sense of curiosity and a desire to learn.

By embracing flexibility in your perception, you give yourself the gift of mental freedom. Instead of being boxed in by one viewpoint, you have the opportunity to see the world through many lenses, each offering new insights and possibilities.