To Interact or React, that is the Question

I have found, both personally and professionally, people are finding themselves reacting more than interacting. Reacting to what someone said, what someone posted, what someone stands for. On social media, the little emojis on a post are "reactions". Reactions tend to be quick responses to something without any thought or introspection.

Reactions aren't necessarily negative, they can be life saving. A car moves into your lane with little distance between you and no indicator, and you react by braking or moving lanes, therefore preventing an accident.

However, in interpersonal communication, being reactive can lead to unintended consequences. Reacting instantly—based on something you hear, see, or feel—without taking time to consider your response can impact both self-esteem and relationships. Reflecting on these quick reactions often leads to self-criticism, wishing we had responded differently. In relationships, this can create a negative dynamic, where the other person may feel judged or unheard, potentially straining communication and connection.

So what is the difference between reacting and interacting? I was hoping you were curious.

Reaction is immediate. It comes more from instinct, and is driven by emotion, often coming from a place of defensiveness or self-protection. Reactions are often reflexive and may not involve thoughtful consideration, more often fueled by our emotions at that moment, whether it’s anger, frustration, or fear. Being reactive often leads to feelings of regret, wishing we had shown up differently in the conversation, and often perpetuating conflict instead of resolving it.

Interaction, on the other hand, is a more thoughtful way to communicate. When we stop to think, we give ourselves time to process the situation, and allow ourselves time to respond in a way that fosters healthier, more respectful communication, leading to stronger relationships. It opens up a more engaging dynamic in conversation. Conversations that are more interactive often have an end result of making us feel connected and heard. People who feel heard and understood are more likely to reciprocate that behavior, creating a positive feedback loop of support and understanding.

So, how do you foster interaction? Again, glad you asked. There are many ways to boost ones skills to foster interaction. Here are a few:

Pause and Breathe

When you feel an emotional reaction building, take a moment to pause, count to 5 (or 10 if you are exceptionally triggered). This simple act of breathing deeply can be enough to interrupt the emotional surge and give you space to think.

Acknowledge Your Emotions

Instead of immediately acting on your emotions, acknowledge and name them. Interaction isn't the act of ignoring something has come up for you, its an opportunity to clarify what it was about a situation that triggered an emotional response.

Ask Questions

Shift your focus from reacting to engaging by asking clarifying questions. This allows for interaction and deeper understanding.

Reflect Before Responding

Take a moment to reflect on how you want to respond. Ask yourself: Will this reaction be helpful or harmful to the situation at hand? Is this how I want to show up in this conversation?

Practice Empathy

Try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective. Interaction is grounded in empathy and understanding, while reaction is often self-focused.

By interacting thoughtfully, you create a mental space that is more peaceful, connected, and balanced—leading to healthier and more meaningful experiences both internally and externally.